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I got a new job as a scribe working in the ED. (Emergency department...seriously why do we colloquially refer to them as ER's? Cuz of the show ER?) So far I like it and ind it both challenging and overwhelming. The shifts are 12 hours long and I had two this weekend. Since I am training, they tend to run over because my shift trainer needs to check my charts. I think he's moderately impressed, but I can't really tell. All I know is that I am not completely failing at it. And I like it a hundred times better than my Hollister gig. I have to remind myself that I always feel slightly overwhelmed during the first few weeks of my job and then I start to get the hang of things.
This upcoming weekend is probably my last relay for life event at Purdue.
I have this huge biotech project due in 8 hours that I am entirely unexcited about, so I think I'm going to stop typing and work on that. I just finished a P-chem prelab to get it out of the way (okay, and slightly procrastinate) so I decided to type this to give myself some down time. I'm sort of focused but not really. I really don't like this molecular biotech class because it's the exact same material as my molecular biology class except that the grading is a little worse and some parts are slightly more technical. Actually the reason I don't like biotech as much is because Dr. Konieczny was an amazing professor for molecular biology and my biotech professor mumbles all of his words and doesn't give any practice exams with keys. I have no idea what kind of questions he is going to ask. One would argue that I should be able to know what will be asked, but the phrasing catches me off guard. For instance, when I see design a good vector, I think restriction site that is located in my gene of interest and in an identifying gene of my vector (such as lac-z production), but I don't think "transform the vector using E. Coli" because that's a procedure to make it, not a selection of the vector I'll use. I'm not sure if I made myself clear there. But that's the kind of thing I mean. I hate open-ended questions.
See. Further procrastination.
But hey, I'm pretty happy. Brandon cooked me an absolutely delicious meal last night for a delayed 6 month (it's almost been 7 now) and I'll probably graduate in May. (I better...I have that cap and gown ordered.)
So life's on the up and up. Probably just jinxed myself. Probably gonna loose my job.
I have to be careful to keep my mouth shut in the ED because some people are pretty superstitious about not saying that the ED is slow. Sometimes it is though. ($5 the ED explodes in 15 minutes, lol.)
This upcoming weekend is probably my last relay for life event at Purdue.
I have this huge biotech project due in 8 hours that I am entirely unexcited about, so I think I'm going to stop typing and work on that. I just finished a P-chem prelab to get it out of the way (okay, and slightly procrastinate) so I decided to type this to give myself some down time. I'm sort of focused but not really. I really don't like this molecular biotech class because it's the exact same material as my molecular biology class except that the grading is a little worse and some parts are slightly more technical. Actually the reason I don't like biotech as much is because Dr. Konieczny was an amazing professor for molecular biology and my biotech professor mumbles all of his words and doesn't give any practice exams with keys. I have no idea what kind of questions he is going to ask. One would argue that I should be able to know what will be asked, but the phrasing catches me off guard. For instance, when I see design a good vector, I think restriction site that is located in my gene of interest and in an identifying gene of my vector (such as lac-z production), but I don't think "transform the vector using E. Coli" because that's a procedure to make it, not a selection of the vector I'll use. I'm not sure if I made myself clear there. But that's the kind of thing I mean. I hate open-ended questions.
See. Further procrastination.
But hey, I'm pretty happy. Brandon cooked me an absolutely delicious meal last night for a delayed 6 month (it's almost been 7 now) and I'll probably graduate in May. (I better...I have that cap and gown ordered.)
So life's on the up and up. Probably just jinxed myself. Probably gonna loose my job.
I have to be careful to keep my mouth shut in the ED because some people are pretty superstitious about not saying that the ED is slow. Sometimes it is though. ($5 the ED explodes in 15 minutes, lol.)
Engaged!
Since I moved home, life has been pretty great. I haven't been writing much, not even journaling much, because I've been keeping busy and dating a wonderful man. He has been supportive of me since I was a teenager in high school. He has never disappointed me and he has always shown up for me. Unfortunately timing just wasn't our thing. I wasn't ready to date someone two years older than me when we were young and then one or both of us were in relationships from that point onwards. And I think if we hadn't taken the paths we did, we wouldn't have grown into the people we are. We just know how to be there for each other. If I was religious I'd believe that God had this planned all along, but I'm not religious. We know the terrible sides of each other and the beautiful sides of each other and we're good with both. I don't care if he leaves Kleenex or paper towels on his night stand. Last Sunday he helped me wash moldy dishes. I'm excited to get to live with him and I am happy. I'd heard
Depression Again
Hey, It's been a while. I tried writing in my journal but that served to make me feel worse. The same thoughts rattling around in my head. So I figured I would write something here instead. I thought maybe I might add more to my psychosis story. I had this idea about how to write it a couple of months ago but maybe I was still a little manic then. I think I wanted to write it to help understand my manic episode, but there wasn't that much to it. I was crazy and now I'm not. I think it still bothers me that I went crazy. I sleep twelve hours a day now. I have no friends in this area and I feel like I'm not supposed to go outside to help slow the spread of coronavirus. I walk Rosie a couple of times a day. I play animal crossing. I just don't enjoy being alive very much right now and that sucks ass. The apartment I share with my boyfriend is smaller than the one we had previously and we had to get rid of some of our furniture in order to move and so we don't have room for all of the
Not Doing Well
Hello All, I am not doing well. I have been manic all week. My phone is broken because I dropped it too many times. I have ordered a cheap $60 phone replacement because I'm tired of dropping my phone and breaking it. I stopped playing pokemon go because of that, and I've gone on less walks since. COVID-19 breaking out has not helped either. I hate my job. I feel I am permanently destined to hate my job. I am so comfortable with having defined roles and goals and benchmarks that having no direction is driving me insane. I fucking hate it and feel like my bosses are some of the least incompetent people I have ever worked with. They are not the worst bosses I have ever had, but they are terrible at managing resources. Being better than SM is not a very high bar to pass. Do I just have incredibly bad luck? Is my outlook on life awful? Do I just have to create my own goals for myself? Idk maybe? I'm also incredibly sick of the medical field's stigma against cannabis. SO FUCKING SICK OF
Calmer Place
Okay, so...I had a phone interview today, which was very exciting.
I noted that I have a lot less anger at the general world than I did with my last long job search. I know that there are opportunities and I know that I have to work on being a competitive candidate if I want my dream job, and I've gotta be patient, and I have to be a little open to the world molding me. I have more patience for recycled interview questions and realize the importance of good answers a bit better and what companies are really asking. I mean, it's like how it bothered me that the last place I interviewed at didn't have a company website. A company wants to see
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