Study Progress (December)

December 1, 2015
12:23: I would not suggest that you only spend a day studying for a shelf exam. 
With that being said, I'm pretty sure that I scored at least a 70% on the exam. I think 80% is probable. I wish I had gone through the entire BRS book, but I think that our professor actually did a pretty decent job teaching us, if all the material we needed to know was evaluated properly by that exam.
I read a third of the way through the book and did all of the quizzes to find the remaining chapter I was weakest in (circulatory system...then urinary (which is pretty important but we'll go over it again in physio), male reproductive, and respiratory were my other weak areas) and read it in the hour before the exam started. I would have liked to review the urinary chapter, and maybe the respiratory chapter, as these will probably be pretty important topics to have a foundation on in practice. *shrug*
So I think I'm going to order my christmas photobooks today, and then I have a meeting with the new academic advisor lady. I need to buy more coke. Ryan's coming up and bringing the thanksgiving leftovers I left at his house (YAY!). And besides that, the goal is to study anatomy like a madwoman.

14:20: Well it's good to be done with histology. I got a 74% on the shelf. It's passing. It's not a high pass and I could have studied instead of...not studying (for like the past two weeks). And honestly it's probably not my best because of my burn out and lack of desire to study. But I passed, and that was the important part.

18:58: So burnt out. I've opened my anatomy book. That's about it.

December 2, 2015
18:26: I think I am going to massively fail this anatomy exam. I know nothing. I'm so...I don't even know where to begin. I'm looking at the bones and I hope that helps me but I'm just so...there's so much going on in the head from so many angles and it's just difficult to visualize and memorize and...eep!
I don't know how I'm going to do any of it. I need to get a 60% on this exam. We took a practice exam today and I got...16/81 correct. That's a 20%. So that's what I know right now, is 20%...and that's just the lab. The written portion I'd do much worse on.
So...I'm so very stressed out. Our practice exams are also usually easier than our actual exams as well.
18:47: There is so much material...
21:02: So...two hours and I'm not much further into the text. Learning all the branches of the trigeminal nerve. (opthalmic: frontal (supraorbital, supratrochlear), lacrimal, nasociliary (innnervation of cornea, anterior ethmoid nerve (external nasal), infratrochlear); maxillary: infraorbital nerve (superior labial nerve, lateral nasal nerve, inferior palpebral nerve), zygomatic nerve (zygomaticotemporal, zygomaticofacial), anterior superior alveolar nerve, posterior superior alveolar nerve, pterygopalatine nerves (nasopalatine -> greater and lesser palatine nerve), pharyngeal nerve; mandibular: inferior alveolar nerve (nerve to mylohyoid and anterior belly of digastric muscles), mental nerve, tensor tympani, medial pterygoid, auriculotemporal, lingual nerve, buccal nerve, masseteric, deep temporal, lateral pterygoid)
I tried doing this from memory and got a lot of it wrong so I went and fixed it. I also keep forgetting that V3 has motor components as well.
The facial nerve:
Posterior auricular, zygomatic, buccal, marginal mandibular, cervical
Then I moved on to arteries and veins, which...I already forget them and I just drew them a tiny bit ago.
mmm...problems.
21:38: Wow. This coffeehouse is way too loud now.

December 3, 2015
02:19: Been home for over an hour now. Apparently Vienna isn't open 24 hours anymore. So they closed at midnight. I thought Von's dough shack was supposed to be open until an ungodly hour (4 am according to google) but they closed at midnight too.
I'm not making a ton of progress. I have maybe gone through like a fifth of the material I need to know. *sigh*
I've already complained plenty about my lack of studying and motivation, so all that's left is just to do my best with the time I have left. I've already demonstrated my talent for cramming, so I'll just have to get to work on it. Might not sleep tonight.
04:05: Shoot. I don't think I've made hardly any progress since the last entry. I studied some flashcards over stuff I'd already studied and took a look at throat muscles and their innervations because it's bothering me that I don't feel like I know their innervations at all. So now I have an idea.
5:58: Took a shower. Have an idea of what happens to the maxillary arteries and the maxillary and mandibular nerve branches behind the coronoid process.
10:04: Took a nap. Gonna try and squeeze in some last minute cadaver/model loving/studying.
Will probably go to molecular. Might not. I feel okay right now. I think I may have barely gotten through half the material.
11:25: Learning about cancer in molecular biology. Pretty interesting. Learning about progression of the tumor, from hyperplasia to metaplasia to dysplasia. Molecular mutations - oncogenes from proto-oncogenes, mutation of tumor suppressor genes, and mutations of caretaker genes (maybe proteins similar to telomerase?)
I got through most of the head chapter of Moore's. The wave of potential failure is looming over me very strongly.
11:34: Okay I've lost a bit of focus now on molecular bio. Went back to calculating my grade for anatomy. If I score the lowest percentage that has been obtained so far on an exam, I can still pass the class if I score an 80% on the shelf, which has apparently historically been the average in past years. And that lowest is probably from a person who already dropped out of our class. So...maybe there is hope for me. Maybe.
11:39 I was right about telomerase btw.
14:31: Von's dough shack doesn't disappoint. Finished first readthrough of head chapter. Need to read Neck chapter and embryo and Cranial nerve chapter. So far I am writing everything I know about cranial nerves before reading it to check what I know. I don't know which nerves are special somatic efferent, so I know that's a knowledge gap.

December 4, 2015
01:30: I'm exhausted and I still feel like I don't know anything.

December 6, 2015
03:04: I passed the written portion of the exam. I high failed the lab portion. Usually I do better on lab, but considering the state of our cadaver, I did not do as well. I expect to pass anatomy and it is once again difficult for me to study. *sigh* I haven't gotten much done at all today. I woke up and immediately attempted to study and I've been sitting at my desk all day with my book open but I also had my laptop open and I watched frozen and then I watched jupiter rising and then I watched Schindler's list and maybe I'm lonely or maybe I just am not really tired and don't know what to do with myself because of the weird hours I've been keeping.
18:43: So I have not been productive today either. I'm just in a funk. I think it might have helped if Ryan had come up yesterday. Oh well.
20:05: Most of me does not even care right now. I got through the arm section quiz in the BRS finally.
20:11: My whole life is trying to study, or studying, or being tired. My mind is very numb right now. It's lonely. It's not sure why we're memorizing all of this stuff. It's a bit bored. The material is not boring. But my mind feels like it's all the same and is bored with it. I should exercise more probably. I don't know how late I want to stay up today. I'm not sure what I want right now. I don't feel like I'm trying my best if I'm not studying in every free moment that I'm not eating or sleeping or taking care of hygeine, but I just can't focus sometimes.
22:31: Basically I'm over it. This isn't good. This exam tomorrow is still important. I still want to do well on it!
*sigh*
23:15: Yeah I don't care about anything at all right now...

December 7, 2015
11:59: Well. It's over.

December 8, 2015
20:21: I passed anatomy.
I also got 8192 in 2048, which is something I never thought I'd do, so that's pretty cool too.
Lol.
Major accomplishments of the year.
I have the biochem shelf tomorrow and I don't really care...
*sigh*
I only need to get a 30% to pass. Hopefully I do much better than that, but seeing as I haven't studied for this exam at all... :/

December 9, 2015:
01:07: Still haven't really studied.
Been preoccupied with the secret-keeping I've been doing this year. I think the people involved probably already know about it. It doesn't really matter, it's just getting to me now. I'm tired. That's the biggest thing. I've been tired for a few months. A bit lonely. Very burnt out. But mostly tired. A bit hopeless. It's like, yes I'm learning all of this stuff, and that's cool, but there's so much of it, and a lot of it I'm just going to forget in a few days. So...yeah...I'm tired.
01:58: I should definitely just go to bed. I spent some time memorize the capitals of Europe. If I can do that, why can't I review biochem instead?
I did review some of the vitamins in biochem.
21:27: I ended up passing with a 73%. It was the second lowest score in the class. I don't really care so long as I passed to be honest. For not having to study, that is a perfectly satisfactory grade. I think the average was an 82%, which is quite high. I'm perfectly fine with it. I will get a review of biochemistry and histology in physiology. I'm a bit worried that that will be an extremely difficult class next semester and am prepared to be pretty stressed out about it.
Went to Turkey Run with Rachel today. The shutterfly books came in and I'm going through and labelling the pictures on a separate document/sheet of paper for mom and everyone else so they know what the pictures are of. I think I will study for molecular. Katie is a bit disappointed in the fact that I am not studying and still passing. I sorta think she can kinda um...well...*sigh*. She's my sister so whatever.

December 10, 2015
13:18: I am so ready for tomorrow. Not the exam part. The semester being over part.
I should study.

December 11, 2015
04:01: I have made "not even half-assed" attempts to study.
Tomorrow will be fun...
04:37: Actually tomorrow will be fun, after I fail the exam in the morning. But failing the exam does not mean I'll fail the course, which is why I haven't been studying for it.
I recall that in my undergraduate years, the final exam was worth close to half of your grade. Maybe a fourth. Now it's worth a fifth, and by the time the final rolls around, you've gotten almost all of the points you need, and not enough to get the next highest grade. My current boat.
04:56: I wanted to note that our biochemistry professor is a pretty awesome person and a great teacher, as evidenced by the high average on the cumulative final.
05:11: I read the short notes.
05:48: I don't think it's a good idea to stay in my apartment by myself for 24 hours, which I've done frequently this week. I'm currently a bit upset with myself and freaking out a bit. It's okay. I will pass just through statistics alone. Which is a bit ridiculous but it's okay. Passing is passing and this is molecular and I won't likely use it much in practice.

December 15, 2015
13:52: I passed all of my classes. I did not high pass anything. I almost high passed molecular, which is a tad ironic because I that was my lowest cumulative/shelf grade. *shrug* So I'll have to try to keep in mind to keep some motivation in reserve for finals next semester I suppose.
Mostly I'm just happy I've passed everything because a lot of this material is not extremely relevant to practice. Some is. So...yeah I mean there's always reviewing to be done in life so that you don't loose the information you learned, but for now I'm going to enjoy break.

December 19, 2015
11:06: Yesterday I made perfect chocolate chip cookies again for once. It's been a while. Not positive it was my BEST batch, but it was pretty great. Ryan and Jordan are pretty happy campers.

December 21, 2015
12:26: Star Wars was alright. Dad probably would have liked it. Wouldn't have been his favorite, and it's not my favorite, but still enjoyable.